Substantz Reviewz

Catwoman #74 : Crime Pays part 3

Writer: Wil Pfeifer

Artist: David Lopez
Inker: Alvaro Lopez

Ohh, Catwoman's life is all topsy turvy, speaking of recons. Selina no longer has her baby Helena, due to her feeling the stresses of motherhood and costume fighting, giving her up for adoption. I don't like this at all but I'll get to that later. Anywho, Selina finds herself staring down the barrel of a pistol in a bar after being led into a trap by Calculator, and a rookie villain called "The Thief"...wow...that name is......BWAHAHAHAHA -ahem- She beats his cronies and, escapes. After returning to an abandoned factory and thinking about her former life...(drum roll) And becomes a anti-hero..or villian! She tracks Calculator down and questions him about "The Thief". Calculator reveals how Thief set her up, trying to fill the void by lack of Gotham criminals (all in Salvation Run). Catwoman gets the info she wants and goes after him. She's cut off by Captain Boomerang Jr., Deadshot and,some guy glowing green I'm not familar with. They knock her out and transports her (with more villians) to Hell Planet (Deadshot's there too, HA!)


It's an ok issue with a wrapped up conculsion/intro to a crossover. I've read Salvation Run and while I won't cover it here, it showcases the thinking (plus paranoia) of the DC villians and, it's funny. Pfeifer does a good job for the issue. Lopez's pencils are always okay and once again Hughes' cover is so-so

Story: 2.5/5

Art: 2.5./5
Cover: 3/5

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Exiles #100 : Home Is Where The Heart Is

Writer: Chris Claremont

Artist: Tom Grummet

Inker: Scott Hanna

Well after the events of the Exiles/New Excalbr crossover Die By The Sword ended. This issue is a series finale for the original Exiles. It a recaps issue in which Claremont OOC's the original exiles (TJ, Blink, Thunderbird) leaving the team. Why is New Exiles starting? So Claremont can write his favorite characters. Anna Raven and Mystiq are still foreign to me even after reading the crossover. Cat Pryde is enoying herself and adds the youth factor to the group. Their really isn't much to this issue just a lead in for New Exiles. The cover is...I don't know WHAT the cover is trying to show

Story: 1.5/5

Art: 2.5/5

Cover: 2/5

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Amazing Spider-Man #545 : One More Day part 4
Writer: J. Micheal Straczysnki & Joe Quesada
Artist: Joe Quesada
Inker: Danny Miki

Well, here it is the conclusion of One More Day and with obivous bias, this was horrible, it starts off from SSM #24 with Peter and MJ contenplating Mephisto's offer to save Aunt May's life. She should have stayed dead since ASM #400, her death worked, gave her the proper sendoff and made Peter move on. Peter and MJ deliberate when said-devil pops in, claiming time's up for May. MJ says she wants Peter's ID secret and offers Mephisto something. Mephisto showcases the lady in red and Peter and MJ potenial child (now erased) Then continuity is F******. Peter wakes up in his Aunt old home and heads off to party..on his bike. He runs into Flash & co. while seeing MJ, who is pissed at him for some reason. The party is for...-drum roll- HARRY OBSBORN! While he introduces Peter to his gal pals, MJ leaves the party. Then everyone raises their glasses for a BRAND NEW DAY!
Oh boy......................................

Yeah, I hated it. Horrible in every sense of the world. For someone who re-read Peter's life during the 70's and 80's this doesn't do anything except making me feel it's 1970 agian.Some of the best SM stories happened because of said. This doesn't jus affec SM Universe, if affects the WHOLE Marvel universe. Try Giant Sized Avengers to see the change: Peter acting like the teen self. MJ acted so out of character. Everyone knows MJ isn't irretating, selfish and whatever else Quesada tries to put on her.Quesada wasn't bad no by a long shot, it was very good. But that doesn't make up for killing 20+ years of comic Needless to say this is LAST issue I'm reading of ASM until they fix this. BND my ass!

Story: 2.5/5
Art: 3/5
Cover: 4.5/5

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Birds of Prey #109: Stone Cold Knockout
Publisher: DC
Writer: Tony Berdard
Artist: Nicola Scott
Inker:


The issue starts out with Barbra and Diana talking about her soon to-be marriage to Green Arrow with flashbacks about their first meetings with Mr. Clueless (-snort-)

Knockout and Vandal Savage are cozy in a rundown motel until Savage tries to joke about her fight with Barda. Knockout doesn't take it well and storms out.

Barda talks with her hubby Scott about said fight. He warns her that someone is killing off the new gods as he secretly watches her outside the apartment. Misfit teleports into her apartment begging for help because Diana's kid, Sin is annoying her with Pokemon trading cards(HAHA) as Diana and Babs continue their conversation inside the dinning room. Then the funniest conversation in the book between Barda and Sin starts. Someone eyes Barda but gets taken out by Knockout (o_0 rhymes) but the mystery man reveals he wanted her, Knockout all along. She recognizes him, freaks out and gets blown off the roof of the building, the man catches her as Barda and the others hear the explosion and Savage tries to call her as she races down the street in her car (isn't that illegal?)

Diana and Babs finish conversation with Babs asks Diana , if she'll say yes. Diana says she's unsure but wants Babs to her maid of honor (awwww..). Sin rushes in saying something happened . Misfit and Barda reach the scene below viewing Knockout's dry blooded corpse. As Barda calls Scott, Savage drives right by the mess and eyes Barda.


Huh, this is a marriage/Countdown tie in and it takes place before Black Canary's mini. If anyone can take over after Gail Simone's run, it's Tony. KEEP HIM ON THE DAMN BOOK! But doesn't he write like 5 other books for DC? Whatever they are paying him, DOUBLE IT! The New Gods dying like flies doesn't matter because Grant Morrision is bringing them back like nothing happened. I was kind of surprised that Babs was playing devil's advocate because while Ollie may be a flirt and, she wants to look out for her best bud, he wouldn't mess this one up..would he? Scott's pencils worked in the issue and Roux's covers continue to amaze me

Story: 3/5
Art: 3/5
Cover 4/5

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Amazing Spider-Man #543: Back In Black, part 5

Publisher: Marvel
Writer: J. Micheal Straczynski
Artist: Ron Garney
Inker: Bill Reinhold

Pete talks to Aunt May telling her about the blood transfusion he gave her last issue to help with her with the wound, while MJ sleeps in chair outside. During the day, MJ asks the nurse about any changes. The nurse replies they are doing blood tests right. When in her office, Pete takes the file and tells MJ about finding out there was no change to her condition because her body built up an immunity (wow) and, MJ invites a priest over for possible last rites, will and funeral. At the police station, they assume that the shooting was deliberate. Peter and MJ discuss about what they'll do with Aunt May...what she would want them to do if she's really dead,

Meanwhile one of the detective's at the police station look over the report about the shooting investigates about May's shooting.When he arrives at the hospital, he question the nurse taking car of May. The nurse explains her birth certificate was her I.D., MJ's been with her 24/7, her blood has changed with levels of radiation and comments about Peter, giving her opinion on what she thinks happened (with an interesting re-enactment). Then says they lied about filling out a police report and they've been paying with cash, which the detective says they might be keeping May quiet to avoid running up the bill and by lying on the form and not filling the report, that's a felony.

He goes to the room while Peter and MJ try to figure out what to do next. Peter's spider-sense alerts him about Detective Delint. He tries to get in the room but Peter switches out the lights darkening the room. Delint handcuffs MJ to the doorknob, the Peter appears( covered by shadows) and wants MJ let go. When the detective tells him to get on the ground, Pete knocks him out and he and MJ transport May to another hospital. Peter breaks into a scrub locker room and steals clothes as MJ lies to get forms for May's transfer, then Pete steals an ambulance and sneaks May, MJ on route to the hospital. After May's admitied into the hospital, MJ asks Peter what's going to happen now. He tries to re-assure her that everything will be fine but he's thinking abut the crimes he committed and what he can do to end his personal nightmare.

Not bad. This is most a point A to point B issue for the "One More Day" and "Brand New Day" arcs which change Spidey's status quo, which has me VERY upset. Despite a very few miniorityold school readers against the marriage, I (like others) grew up with it. He doesn't need some life altering decision to make everyone happy, Aunt May "near death" is annoying to me, it had more meaning when we thought she was really gone. Instead we got that horrible recon. JMS does a good job of pacing with the issue and Garney's pencils are ok (He does capture Peter's anger in an interesting way) but I still hate looking at them and the cover.

Story: 3.5/5
Art: 3/5
Cover: 2.5/5

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Catwoman #70: Life during Wartime

Publisher: DC
Writer: Will Pfeifer
Artist: David Lopez
Inker: Alvaro Lopez

Catwoman tries to prevent Magda (an amazonian terrorist) from dentonating a bio bomb which would wipe out Gotham. As She wrestles the bomb away from the amazon, she thinks of her daughter and, to make matters worse the cops are shooting at the two. If Magda drops the bomb it's all over. Catwoman manages to tie the amazon's hands up as the bomb is in the air. She catches it and stops t from going off but those damn cops shoot Magda in the head. She says she saved the city but they comment on how she knew she was the one that stole the bomb in the first place, was working with the amazonians and that she's an accomplice in Detective Lenahan's murder and their arresting her. Then in the coolest way possible, she realizes she has the bomb and leverage tells them that they WILL let her escape and they won't follow her.

Rena and Larra are back in the alley, with Larra needing some sisterly love, Rena says sacrifices must be made and kills her. Cops blame Catwoman and Rena moves back to Amazonian base where the leader chews her out for the failure with the bomb. Rena asks if they should be joining the other amazons in D.C. . The leader tells Rena she has to take of Catwoman.

As Selina relaxes with the paper, she heads out to find anything of value at the amazon base. Oracle calls her that one of the bana, Magda has gone missing and has info about a master hacker searching for Catwoman but the search terms changed to Selina Kyle. She asks Oracle if the hacker (Magda) can listen to the conversation, then asks if she could call Wayne Manor. At home with her daughter Helena, Selina vows to end her involvement in the war as she wait for Magda.

She comes in, seeing Selina sleeping and heads for Helena. Selina runs to the bedroom and triggers te gas bomb inside "Helena", stunning her allowing Selina to beat her up saying it would have been a fair fight if she just attacked her and not gone after her. After beating Magda senseless with a hammer, she calls Alfred and says she'll pick up Helena tomorrow morning. J'onn J'onzz (aka Martian Manhunter stops by and disables the cycaide tooth in Magda's mouth and he takes her and leaves. Selina thinks of the near disasters with Angle Man, Hammer, Sickle and, Flim Freak while she drives out of Gotham with Helena in the back seat.


Wow, this is a nice book and...wow. I think I love Pfeifer. He hits Selina dead on, I've re-read from #43 and I'm sorry I haven't been on board from day one. With this insaner-than-usual going through Selina's life with her friends and child is heartbreaking, this issue was a-ok but the "putting the child in danger" sthick is getting to me. Lopez's pencils are great, especially the fight scenes. Catwoman, you have my attention. And Hughes' cover for this is so...blah

Story: 3/5
Art: 4/5
Cover: 1.5/5

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Uncanny X-Men #489: The Extremists, part 3
Publisher: Marvel
Writer: Ed Burbaker
Artist: Salvador Larroca

The media covers the Morlocks attack in the subway last issue, infecting humans causing them to be disfigured mutants. Storm tries to find out where the Morlocks are running after their attacks, while Warpath, Hepzibah, Caliban and Johnny Storm talk in the FF's living room. Storm and Ben walk in with info on the Morlocks possible hideouts when it heard on the T.V. that mutants are claiming responsibility for the subway attacks.

In Vermont, Prof X and Nightcrawler continue to investigate the whereabouts of Magneto. Masque tells off the human population and calls out Magneto. After the broadcast, Skids and Masque have an argument while a group of O*N*E soldiers prepares to invade their hiding spot. In the X-Jet, Prof X. and Nightcrawler see Masque broadcast and find out he's also looking for Magneto.

Warpath, Storm, Hepzibah and Caliban track the Morlocks to the last hiding place and discover it's destroyed and littered with dead bodies of O*N*E Soldiers. Caliban finds Skids buried under debris and Sentinel O*N*E thinks Storm and co. killed his people and attacks, however before Warpath and Sentinel can get started, Skids reveals that she's a S.H.I.E.L.D agent.


Interesting, we're finally getting somewhere! While this issue is similar to last in terms of slow-ish pacing, it provided one step closer to the prophecy, which everyone's knows has to do with the extection of the mutant race. Larroca's was better this issue than last but his Human Torch is very creppy. And the cover just showed cameos of the Thing and Human Torch.

Story: 3/5
Art: 3/5
Cover: 2/5

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Uncanny X-Men #488: The Extremists, part 2
Publisher: Marvel
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Salvador Larroca

The issue starts with Masque, getting Litterbug's venom for infecting humans, Masque needs Skids and Erg to help set the gas bomb up in the train. He tells Bliss to watch Leech, while Skids calls Masque out for nearly killing Caliban, Masque says the reason Caliban part of a bigger plot which is why he isn't dead.

Warpath (T-Bird's older brother), Caliban, Hepzibah and Storm go in the sewers to investigate the Morlocks' former home. At the Xavier Institute, Agent Cooper is looking for Magento and Caliban because he's the key fnding out whereabouts of the Morlocks and Prof X has been giving her the run around. She leaves , calling up a field team to search for him, he reads her mind.

Warapath fights off an alligator who manages to break through one of the walls, leading to a new path. When they hit the alley, Caliban takes them to where the explosion happened, to which th e others find out they blew open another area, someone else's quarters reading the scripture which writes them by name.

Back at the Institute, Prof X preps the X-Jet is going to searching for Magneto, while Nightcrawler accompanies him. He's tired of being monitored 24/7 by the O*N*E for their own purposes. Nightcrawler questions this choice of action and Prof X searching for Magento because he couldn't finding him through cerebra. Prof. X relays the report he got (probably) from the Mighty Avengers, that Mags powers have returned. And they'll start with the places he's been in. He's going to probe into the minds of everyone they come across.

Eru asks Skids if she's ok with the plan as she goes into the subway, she says it's for the for the future so she's fine. She gets on the train a puts the bomb in the vent duct, then walks out to the front of train, surfs off (yes surf.) and, triggers the gas bomb. Erg, electrifies the track, melting the wheels, gluing to the trck. Masque appears and Skids asks what bombing the train will help them finding Magneto. Masque says he'll worry about that after he infects all the humans with the X-gene I guess.

Well, this issue pretty much bulid up for the next couple of big ones. A lot of dialogue Nightcrawler and Prof. X head up to find Magneto, which works well. Warpath fighting an alligator as the action scene...odd. and Masque infecting humans for.....nope don't get that etheir. And I thought Strom claustrophobia was dealt with a loong time ago. Larroca's art was okay this issue but his Storm looks weird and, the cover was ok BUT, Nightcrawler is nowhere the tunnels! False advertisement!

Story: 2.5/5
Art: 3/5
Cover: 2.5/5

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Exiles #96-97: Home Again, parts 2 & 3
Publisher: Marvel
Writer: Chris Claremont
Artist: Claton Henry & Steve Scott
Inker:Norman Lee
Colors: Will Quintana

Last issue (#95) showed Heather Hudson leaving the Crystal Palace as Betsy (aka Psylocke) takes her place, Meanwhile the team (Blink, Sabretooh, Morph, SM2099 and, Longshot) heads off to earth-187319, to investgate a world with no villians,un-emotional civilians and a FF that consits of Victor Von Doom, Sue Richards, Johnny Storm and, Robert Bruce Banner. As Psylocke sleeps, she is caught in a n explosion in which variant versions of Marvel heroes and villians fly through the air. While speaking to gods, she's still confused (so am I) on what's going on, the gods explain that time and space are coming apart and the Exiles have to save it

While grapsing that, the team meet this world's version of the FF, the Four Fantastics. They're being watched by the "Mole Man" and She-Hulk. Blink teleports to them, to which doesn't go so well. Morph and Spidey 2099, try to help but "MM" captures Blink while Spidey 2099, webs up She-Hulk but she breaks it and pounds Torch and Hulk. Sabes contains her and asks where ''MM" took Blink, She-Hulk tells him when Reed (as in Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic) decides to tell him. She Hulks wigs out and Sabes questions why. Doom says he and Reed have tangled as offers the team to stay with him, the team notices a group of bystanders cheering for them. Morph walks over to some kids and well turns into a musical box-thing but they're not impressed and walk away.

Blink wakes up surrounded by Ben Grimms, demanding She-Hulk back. Blink jokes while "Ben #1" asks why she isn't scared and she continues to joke. Ben tells her that no one jokes or has fun anymore since Doom took over, erasing it. Comidians and the Marx Sisters and everyone like them have been forgotten and when Doom finds out where Blink's from, he'll conquer, thinking it the rest thing to do.

Meanwhile, back at Doom's buliding, the team tries on the uniforms he's given to them. Morph comments he doesn't need them, Longshot says it feels wrong but Miguel eyes the uni's (aka Spidey 2099) love them and tell his mates that this world feels right to which Sabes and Longshot question the reason they're there at all. Doom thanks them for everything and hopes to bulid a "lasting friendship" which both Miguel and Sabes agree to, while Sue gets friendly with Sabes. Morph says "Isn't that supposed to be Doom's girl?" while Longshot dissapears. Finally, Betsy (aka Psylocke) awakens, feeling she didn't dream that encounter with those gods and as she turns around Kitty Pryde pops up.....And freaks out. while running from Betsy she tries to phase through the wall but can't. Betsty explains to the computer who Kitty is and realizes it's a younger version, Kitty or "Cat" as she prefers to be called calls Betsy "Elsbeth Braddock you're Captain Britannia. but in her world, she's dead. Betsy explains everything to her about different dimensions.

Meanwhile Longshot feels nervous in this world, while Morph tails him. When they talk, Longshot tells Morph the people have no soul, missing emotions. Morphs says that people with those same emotions have caused bad things to happen. Longshot says they can't laugh, Morphs counters with "they don't know how to cry either." And asks if that gives them the right to change it. Longshot says they can't stay there. Blink appears telling them the need to hurry. Morph asks about Sabertooth and Spidey 2099 but Blink says they're in it too deep. Longshot asks her if they can save these people, she says yes but Morph says should they. Miguel (aka Spidey 2099) dances with this world's Gwen Stacy while Sabes "relaxes" with Sue. Later that night, Doom comes by and tells Sue to keep Sabertooth busy while he investigates about the tallus.

At the underground stronghold of Reed Richards, the Exiles find out that on this world, WW3 happened and Doom rose like a hero ending hunger and disease. When people listened to him, they lived in peace but those who resisted him died, disappeared or recruited into his' personal guard. The Four Fantastics invade the stronghold with She-Hulk (now "fixed") belittles Reed for hating Doom because he saved the world. Reed claims his arrogance put the world in the conundrum it's in now. Morphs, tries to attack her but Hulk stops him, saying his cousin was crazy for years but Doom helped her and no one can hurt her for that. Morph knocks him out and says "fixing" her doesn't make it right, while Reed apologizes for what he about to do. Storm shows up, roasting the rebels and talks about it being a team effort. Blink and Longshot move out of harm's way as teleports around Storm saying the Exiles now all about teamwork, beating him. As they round up the evil FF, Morphs asks why do they have to leave,They're winning. Reed says it doesn't atter about the battles, it's the war they have to win as they teleport away. As they do that, Hulk checks in with Doom and says they caught them by surprise but They were a little better than they excepted. Doom says to keep following them. He's amazed by the tallus' technology is fascinating and he can't describe it. One the gauds says they should check in on Miguel and Sabertooth, the former is having dinner with Gwen while the latter is still asleep after his night with Sue. Later Doom hands his team the prototype talluses telling them if they succeed they be remembered with glory, all the while thinking about Reed and how he never had doubts because he'd risk his own life over others. The team succesfully transports to the Crystal Place, while the computers sets off the alarm. Betsy jumps in attacking them head on but wondering how'd they get there. She gets knocked out while the group spot Kitty and one claims he'll look after her, while she smirks. The rest of the team surveys the place realizing it's VERY big and abandoned one poor bastard investigates further and gets knocked out by.....John Proudstar (akaT-Bird)


I am NEVER, NEVER EVER reviewing two issues in one post again. Hand cramp. In not reading Exiles these few months I was worried about Claremont dystroying this team even though he's the man who brought the X-Men franchise to a whole new level. Though that was years ago. Now, his 1st several issues on Exiles I've heard were ok so, I had to see for myself. He's still feeling this team out but from these 2 issues, he's doing an okay job but.....AGAIN with the Doom/Richards struggle, I mean how long are they going to keep doing this? It's annoying to me, I have had it with the FF invading the Exiles' enough already! Other than that, the issue was subpar, not even T-Bird coming back could get me excited. Because he's back in time for that New Excalibur/Exiles crossover. I've always liked Henry's art and it fits in the 1st issue here, Scott's was a downgrade. I love covers as much as the book but they were boring and.....ugh..

Story: (Overall) 2.5/5
Art: Henry 3.5/5, Scott 3/5
Cover: (Overall) 2/5